Sign up below to be added to our mailing list for the latest news updates, access to exclusive contents, and more!
When life gives you fat rolls, hide weapons under them? 30 year old Freddrick Johnson was arrested for trespassing at a Greyhound bus station in Memphis. He has a history of pleasuring himself in public, and got banned from the station a while back. Anyway, police patted him down . . . found several bags of what appeared to be drugs and took him to jail. Then they searched him again while he was being booked, and felt a, quote, "semi-erect object" protruding from his left side, just above his groin. At first, they assumed it was the only semi-erect thing you'd normally find down there, but then they felt something else poking out from the other side of his lower belly. So they decided to strip-search him. And that's when he lifted up a large fat roll and pulled out a two-foot machete he was trying to smuggle in. On top of his other charges, he's now facing more time for trying to sneak contraband into a prison. -